20,000 words: The amount of words (some) clients think can be translated overnight.
Back translation: (1) I can’t proofread and I don’t trust you. Send translation of your translation. (2) Back translation: When the chicken and egg conundrum becomes a language assignment.
Briefing for copywriting style adaptation: Are extremely short and leave the copywriter with more questions than answers.
Capital letters: Something that clients love to put in and translators love to take out.
CAT Tool: a piece of string used to play with your feline friend whilst your TM program reboots.
Charm: A coercive ploy used by clients when they need you to dig them out of a hole.
Client: “Please provide some alternative headlines” = “We have no idea what the message is”.
Customer feedback: A lengthy exchange of emails where the customer attempts to insert error in a translation, resulting in attempts to insert errors in a translation, resulting in a debate of life, the universe and everything.
Deadline: (1) The unreasonable delivery schedule that will almost kill the translator, but not quite. (2) Deadlines: Clients love to give them, but (some) hate to keep them when they’re on the bottom of an invoice.
Dictionary: Gives you every alternative except that elusive word you are searching for.
Excel Files: A file format used by clients who don’t know how to create tables in Word files.
Fee: The tiny figure on your bank account that keeps you from starving and that clients make such a fuss about.
Feedback: Something that is never forthcoming unless it’s negative. Not to be confused with complaint!
Friday night: chances are big your favorite client asks for a huge translation due 9am on Monday.
Holidays: non-existing term in translators’ community.
OCR: A tool that scans the words “I love you” as “1 i0u3 40v”.
PDF: A file format used when the client has lost the original source text.
PPT files: A file format used by people who are planning to bore their audience to death.
Pre-booked Job Date: The day after the day that the client promised to deliver a pre-booked job for translation.
Proofreading by the client: The phase of implementing spelling and grammar errors.
Proofreading: The PERECT job for grammar-obsessed pedants.
Relevant background material: 20 GB of completely useless stuff.
Research: five hours spent on the internet looking for two words, only to be told it’s a typo and to leave them out.
Rush fee: Trying to sell a ten percent raise as a hundred percent raise.
Sample Translation: A long document a client has split between 20 agencies as a way of getting the work done for free.
Slush Pile: The pile that translation agencies put emails in when job-hunting translators BCC a pitch to 500 agencies.
Social media: now your whole extended family and friends of friends can ask for free translations.
Source copy in JPG file: the ultimate nightmare.
Tab Stops: Used by clients/translators who don’t know how to create tables in Word files.
Ten free test translations a day keep the translator’s money away.
Transcreation: (1) a service for clients who know their source copy is crap. (2) Transcreation: The best excuse to do whatever you want by contract.
Translation Agency: The pariah in the middle of the client/supplier sandwich.
Translation theory: That thing they teach you in school that you never quite seem to use in the real world.
Translator: A person expected to do today what the client should have done yesterday.
ttx file: a supposedly interchange file format that doesn’t “interchange” at all.
Twitter: A tool to reassure translators that Armageddon didn’t happen whilst they were racing to a 30k word deadline.
Weekends: The 2 days between Friday and Monday when clients mini-break in Paris whilst translators are expected to work.
White Space: Something that clients never leave in PPT docs and are then surprised when their translated files looks blah.
Word File: a word-processing document that is guaranteed to crash when a deadline is looming.